You know that simpler messages have a better chance of reaching distracted employees. But simplifying complex information can be a difficult, time-consuming process. How can you do this more quickly and effectively? We show you how using a benefits communication example.
Example:
Expanded Network
The network used for the two PPO plans is Health Choice II POS. This is a broader network providing deeper discounts to help lower your costs. This is particularly important for members of the Deductible Plan. In addition to a deductible, the plan requires members to pay 20% of the contract rate for most medical services.
| Problem | How to fix | |
| Central message: While the communication is short, which is good, it's not clear from this text what is changing or what the benefit is to employees. | Boil your communication down to one simple message, focused on what is changing for employees. | |
| Headline: This headline has no relevant content, which is a missed opportunity. | Write the headline to deliver the one simple message of the communication. | |
| Language: The body text uses acronyms and jargon that most employees don't understand. | Use clear language and spell out acronyms when expanding your message in the body. | |
| Speed: The message meanders and doesn't deliver information efficiently. | Get to the point quickly. Employees spend three seconds on a message before moving on. | |
| Action: We don't know from this example if employees need to do something or change their behavior. It's implied but not explained. | State clearly how employees need to take action, or do something differently. In this case, you might direct them to the web site for more information. | |
| Point of view: The point of view changes from "you" to "members." | Pick one point of view. Say "you" or "employee" but use it all the way through. |
Revised message:
New health network offers more doctors, lower costs
If you're in one of our two PPO (Preferred Provider Organization) medical plans, you're now part of a new network called Health Choice II POS (Point of Service). This new network offers more participating physicians and deeper discounts.
